Effective conflict management is an important part of maintaining healthy relationships in our daily or professional lives. Although conflicts are seen as a negative situation, they can actually open the door to growth and creativity when they are managed correctly. In this “management” process, our approach to conflicts, or the way we “handle” them, plays a crucial role. Recognizing these conflict styles is vital, which sometimes appear as a way of handling conflict, sometimes as an approach and sometimes as solution strategies. In this article, we will explore different conflict styles and how to determine the most appropriate approach.
Conflict Styles: Different Approaches
There are various studies in which different conflict resolution approaches are systematically examined and styles with the same characteristics are tried to be grouped under a single heading. In this sense, the Thomas-Kilmann Inventory (TKI) developed by Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph Kilmann in the 1970s is one of the most comprehensive studies to classify conflict resolution styles. According to this inventory, there are five basic conflict resolution styles:
Competitive (Competitor): In this approach, the person emphasizes his/her own goals and downplays the other party's goals. Competitive style is usually used when the parties want to reach a solution quickly and time is limited for the solution. In dispute resolution processes where this strategy is used, win-lose outcomes can be observed more frequently.
Collaborative: In this strategy, the parties give importance to both their own and the other party's interests. They act together to find a mutually satisfactory outcome. This strategy is usually used by parties of equal power when they have enough time.
Avoidant: In the avoidant approach, the person disregards both his or her own interests and those of the other party. Parties using this strategy usually tend to ignore the conflict. They use this strategy when they care more about their relationship than the problem between them.
Accommodating: In this approach, the person cares about the other party's goal, but not so much about his or her own. It is a strategy where the parties are flexible. It is usually used in disputes where one party is strong and the other is weak.
Compromising: Compromise is an effort to find a middle way by giving up some things in order to achieve the goals that the parties consider important. Usually used between parties of equal power, the aim is to reach a solution quickly. For this reason, it is a strategy where compromises are often observed.
What shapes our conflict styles?
While classifying conflict styles into these five categories simplifies things, other factors influence our approach. These include our personal characteristics, background, family dynamics, the dominant culture we live in, any subcultures we identify with, and our socialisation. All these elements play a significant role in how we manage, negotiate, and transform conflict.
Which Style Should I Use?
There is actually no single answer to this question. The right approach depends on the type of conflict, the other person involved, and the situation at hand. Personal characteristics can, of course, influence conflict resolution styles, but the main determinant is the nature of the conflict itself. For example, it might be useful to be avoidant when de-escalating an argument with an angry person, allowing them to cool down before a productive conversation can occur. In contrast, a competitive approach might be more effective in an emergency where a quick decision is necessary. Or, if a long-term relationship is at stake, a collaborative approach may be more appropriate, allowing both parties to feel heard and valued.Each style has its own risks and rewards. It is important to learn about the different styles, to understand ourselves and the other person, and to use this knowledge to find the best solution. The key lies in being flexible and choosing the most appropriate style according to the specific situation.
Remember to adapt your conflict resolution style based on the other person, the nature of the problem, and the situation. Recognizing your usual style and its impact on others is crucial. This awareness empowers you to adjust your approach for more constructive conflict resolution.
In Conclusion:
In order to determine the most appropriate style when approaching conflicts and, more importantly, to find the most constructive solution, it is important to pay attention to the following points:
First get to know ourselves and our own tendencies really well,
Trying to understand the styles and default strategies of those who are closest to us or with whom we are in frequent conflict,
Approach conflicts with people we don't know and whose strategy we don't know with more care and curiosity. (Especially in conflicts with individuals from different cultures, general assumptions and stereotypes can be particularly misleading. By focusing on the person themself, we can avoid these pitfalls and find a more effective resolution.)
Thank you for reading our post! At Conflictus, we eagerly await your feedback and insights.
Dilara Gök
Conflictus Conflict Resolution Training and Consultancy
🔗 Learn more about our services: Conflictus Website: https://www.conflictus.co/en
📧 Contact us: info@conflictus.co
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